And Now I Bid Farewell to 2013.

This will be my 2nd and my last post for 2013. I don't usually make an end-of-the-year reflection but now I cannot help but to look back on what happened to me this year. A lot of things changed compared to the previous years. This will not be a "New Year, New Me" post. I don't even believe in New Year's Resolutions. I mean, why do you have to wait for the new year to come when you can do it now, right?

And now, as I hear fireworks outside, and as I sit here all alone in this house. I write this blog about the "major" things that happened to me this year:

1. I resigned as an Art Teacher at this exclusive Chinese-Filipino School for girls, where I worked for 5 years. April 30. Don't get me wrong. I love teaching and sharing my knowledge of Art to people especially kids. But that school year was too stressful for me. Though I was at the last step of my job interview at this other exclusive Chinese-Filipino school for boys, I decided not to pursue it because I might get a lot of issues from people and also because I took another job which I will be telling on the next one.

2. I decided to work as an Art teacher in Singapore. May 14. Bittersweet. Staying in Singapore was actually a good experience. Except for my rude and racist boss. I had to sacrifice almost everything for a supposed to be 2-year contract. But I ended up quitting after 6 months. I love teaching the kids there. I miss them so much. I get to know Singapore's culture-- heck, even learned Singlish expressions. I just love staying there-- nature, no pollution, some disciplined people, their means of transportation and no heavy traffic. And I got to know more about Singapore bosses. There, I came to realize a lot of things which made me change my views in life.

3. My mom passed away. June 17. It was just a month after I started my work at SG. I always thought that I can't live if ever my mom dies. Until now, I still think that way. My mom had breast cancer but she didn't die because of it. She died because of Tetanus leading to cardiac arrest. I kept on blaming this doctor where she was having her laser treatment because my mom didn't want to get chemotherapy. She chose this one instead but her irresponsible doctor ignored the wound on her breast. I miss my mom.

4. I broke up with my boyfriend. August 2. I really hate long-distance relationships. It doesn't work for me. Staying in Singapore made me realize I'm not yet mature and not yet ready for these kinds of relationships. I wanted to try lots of things first and I'm just afraid of settling down. (Yeah yeah, I'm not getting any younger.)

5. I met Moahan. October 27. I met a lot of friends in Singapore. But I will be talking about this guy. Mo is a Malaysian guy working in Singapore. We just met for weeks and we enjoyed each other's company. Within the 3 weeks, I felt like we've known each other for years. I like talking about anything under the sun with him. Though I still get pai seh when I talk about some stuff.  I like him. But since I don't want to be in any relationship, we just stayed as good friends. I still talk to him now even if I already went back to the Philippines but it's not as often as before. I miss him.

6. I dyed my hair platinum blonde. November 11. Back then, I told myself and some of my friends that I will only change my hair color to platinum blonde or I'll just leave it as black. I apparently changed my hair color to brown a couple of years ago. But atleast now I was able to get the one I have always wanted. Still, I wanted it whiter though. And I didn't know it'll ruin my curls. I love them. I was a bit disappointed. Byebye curls.

7. I got a helix peircing. November 23. I've been looking for a place in SG where they do needle piercing since I don't like gun piercings because they could leave skin trauma. But it was so rare there and if ever they have it was so expensive. Most of them cost 60 SGD per pierce. The cheapest one was 30SGD. Turned out it was just here in Manila where I would be able to get it and not to mention inside the mall. I had my ear cartilage pierced at Tribal at SM North Edsa on my birthday. It was just for 500PhP since I already have my own stud which I bought in Singapore. It would have been 1000PhP if I didn't have my own.

8. I got a tattoo. December 28. I finally decided to get a tattoo. I've been wanting to get a tattoo ever since but I couldn't because of the nature of my work. I thought it'll hurt that bad but since I have high pain tolerance, it didn't hurt for me. I'm planning to have tattoos done on both of my calves. I started with my left calf. I designed the tattoo and it was a good thing I know an amazing tattooist friend. And he's really good. We both love details. And since as I said it has lots of details, the first tattoo might be done by March of next year. I will try to post photos once it is done.

9. Welcoming Christmas and New Year alone. Midnight of December 25 and January 1. This will be my first time to welcome these days alone. Since my mom died, I felt like just celebrating them alone. sure I still have my siblings and my dad. But I just.. want to be alone.


An hour and 10 minutes more, and it will be a new year. I wonder what will happen to me this coming 2014. Anyway...

I WISH EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

-EiYa

Such A Tragedy.

3 years. It had been 3 years since I set this blog up. And my first post will just be today. Lots of things happened. Lots of things changed. And this surge of emotions made me feel like blogging. So now, I write my first post with anguish...more of pain in my heart. Wow, what a way to start.

Love, but not love.

Confusion's kicking in.

Reminiscing. Wondering.

Such a tragedy

How we stay connected

Yet still far apart

And how I long for you 

But wished not to have met you.

Oh, how I miss you

And I thought this will pass

But as time goes by,

This wave of emotions 

Just grow stronger and stronger.

Such a tragedy. It is such a tragedy.

Thoughts of you

Filling up my already clouded mind

And as tears run down from my eyes,

I wonder, will I have the courage

To say goodbye?

And I know that this will end 

Sooner than we think

My other self hoping that it'll go on

The other half couldn't take it anymore.

Release me from the agony

Crush my heart if you must

This uncertainty is killing me

Slowly. Terribly.

I implore you to do what you have to

And I hope that I will rise up

Like a phoenix from its own ashes 

And survive this tragedy.

- EiYa